Estados Unidos, No Entiendo
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut
Since November 2016, I have traveled across the United States scouring over Vonnegut's prose on the American melting pot to find some explanation, all while exploring the regions whose cultures confuse me the most.
The less culturally saturated parts of the United States have always fascinated me; but while making this photo essay, it felt fitting to get lost in the tireless urban areas where masses of protestors, evangelicals and schemers are all intertwined in their own versions of the 'American Way'.
Searching for a single national identity in a country like the United States is as futile of an effort as they come. So I elected to focus on layers of culture that have had the deepest impact on who it is that we pretend to be.
I sought to New York, Florida, Ohio, Tennessee, Colorado and California in hopes of finding clarity and sense behind our chaotic cultural sedimentation. At a time when so many Americans feel divided and segmented, it is still clear that no matter the intensity of our conviction to what we think it means to be American, we are all a part of determining where we will go next.
Regardless of how distorted our image of who we are may be, if we keep pretending to be bastards with our actions, then we will be remembered as bastards when our time here expires.
Estados Unidos, no entiendo...
Westward Momentum
These pictures are the product of a 10,000 mile journey through the density of flora and fauna in the deep south, the arid and history-riddled southwest, the ecological diversity of the west coast, along with the mélange of desert and steep peaks in the Rocky Mountain region.
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We were cognizant how foreign it was to be in pockets of subcultures riddled throughout the country that live more freely, and even harmoniously at times. From ramblers in search of hot music and cold booze, to green California 'caregivers' living off the land, to pool party ravers in scorching deserts, to the Spartan-like forest firefighters in the Rocky mountains... the underlying message has always been that the journey is the destination.
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In accordance with this undying message, our point of focalization was the wilder parts of the West where one could still die of a snakebite and see the stars in the night sky at all points of the horizon.
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Experiencing the color and light of these areas of the country awakens the senses and the contrasting spatial planes echo rhythmically into unshakable memories.
Serenity House
In this photo essay, I attempted to capture what it is like to survive a banal but strengthening existence in a half-way house after having experienced the intense stimuli delivered by a drug binge.
I made a conscious effort not to focus on the faces of the residents of the house but still capture a balanced view of their daily life; specifically focusing on Ivan, the Serenity House director, and his effect on the residents. Riddled with constant worries of suicide, relapse, or imprisonment among the residents, this household offers an uncertain but hopeful view of the future under the dogma of the 12-step program of Narcotics Anonymous and a steady work life.
Humor and camaraderie are not scarce among the residents; however, a relentless analysis of the past is inevitably going to weigh heavy among any individual, which is a notion I tried to indirectly communicate through the images. For example, the quasi-portrait found in this essay is of Ivan nonchalantly talking about drugs over the phone with his heavy Brooklyn accent in a Skyline restaurant while a Cincinnati police officer glares at him menacingly over the booth trying desperately to get a grasp on the conversation.
I also strived to show the only two vices left to the residents: coffee and tobacco; and how these vices resonate with the residents more so than they would with someone who has never been through such a program. The core message I found in this assignment is simply to survive; despite hardships and past mistakes, human beings need messages of hope and worthiness to continue on and I believe these images communicate that.
